


kill me

by HistoricalTears



Series: group chat au [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: "how'd she know my name?", Alex is smol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, This is crack, and it might actually run like a regular story, and trash, davey is pure, eliza is also pure, group chat au, i'll tag more characters as i go on, jack is annoying, romeo is a big flirt and bucket of sass, this fic needs to die, this might actually have a plot to it, which one is it woman?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:33:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HistoricalTears/pseuds/HistoricalTears
Summary: a group au of two of my favourite musicals taking place in New York a hundred years apart. I got no shame





	1. Newsies

**Author's Note:**

> Jack = SantaFEE  
> Davey = DaveyJacobs (wow original dave)  
> Race = fancyclam  
> Crutchie = watchmestand  
> Katherine = agirl  
> Romeo = RomeNO  
> Specs = bifocals

**_fancyclam added SantaFEE, DaveyJacobs, watchmestand, agirl, RomeNO, bifocals to a group chat._ **

**_fancyclam named the chat to 'Carry the Banner!'_ **

fancyclam: lmao

 

agirl: why would you do this?

 

fancyclam: the question is, why wouldn't I do this?

 

agirl: i

 

SantaFEE: you interrupted me from my arts to bring me to a group chat.

 

SantaFEE: you wanna kill me race?

 

fancyclam: possibly

 

SantaFEE: this chat has officially been muted on jack Kelly's phone.

 

watchmestand: oh

 

watchmestand: I guess I'm part of a group chat now

 

fancyclam: CRUTCHIE!!!

 

watchmestand: hiya Race!

 

DaveyJacobs: I am officially unfriending all of you

 

SantaFEE: dave, ur here hi

 

fancyclam: thirst alert

 

SantaFEE: shut up race. Dave makes me sane here

 

fancyclam: confession.

 

DaveyJacobs: I seriously want to unfriend all of you.

 

SantaFEE: even me, Davey?

 

DaveyJacobs: Especially you, Jack.

 

SantaFEE: I'M CRUCSHED

 

agirl: crucshed

 

SantaFEE: are you gonna be that kind of person?

 

agirl: yes.

 

RomeNO: go 'em

 

SantaFEE: shut up you meme

 

RomeNO: ur just mad because my username has a pun in it.

 

bifocals: so does mine

 

fancyclam: how?

 

RomeNO: ^

 

bifocals: bifocals is another name for spectacles

 

SantaFEE: come on boys even I knew that

 

DaveyJacobs: Guys, gal, and non-binary pals, it's 2 AM, we have school, and I have an English test.

 

watchmestand: did you just reference Thomas Sanders?

 

DaveyJacobs: Yes. I find that statement gender friendly.

 

watchmestand: oh! well glad you included that.

 

watchmestand: but I agree with davey, we should probably go to sleep, or at least get offline.

 

SantaFEE: mute

 

fancyclam: so you guys are just gonna leave me alone to my woes?

 

SantaFEE: pretty much ye

 

fancyclam: fine. I don't need you guys

 

SantaFEE: yes u do

 

fancyclam: u right

 

DaveyJacobs: Bed. Now. Both of you.

 

SantaFEE: lmao c u in school


	2. Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad over in Hamilton have a quick discussion about the beauty of Dear Evan Hansen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex = petitelion  
> John = turtles  
> Lafayette = labaguette  
> Hercules = horsetailor  
> Eliza = helplesslypure  
> Angelica = actualangel  
> James = jMads  
> Jefferson = montihellno

petitelion: so!

 

montihellno: oh no

 

petitelion: quiet macaroni

 

petitelion: john, herc, laf, I was thinking after school we can meet up at the ice cream parlor.

 

turtles: im down

 

horsetailor: any reason why?

 

petitelion: why do you think there's a reason? can't I just hang out with my buddies

 

petitelion: for forever

 

helplesslypure: he found the DEH soundtrack!!

 

labaguette: who said you can touch that soundtrack?!

 

petitelion: well, I finished listening to Next to Normal

 

petitelion: and deh came in my recommended

 

petitelion: why the fuck not?

 

montihellno: You're digging urself a grave if you keep listening to depressing musicals

 

petitelion: what can I say

 

petitelion: im a depressing person those are depressing musicals

 

petitelion: it's a win-win situation

 

petitelion: all we see is light for forever guys c'mon!

 

turtles: if we were in dear evan Hansen, who would we be?

 

petitelion: evan, obviously.

 

horsetailor: but you dont have social anxiety

 

petitelion: but I have CRIPPLING anxiety.

 

petitelion: and it can be social

 

horsetailor: I feel like im alana

 

helplesslypure: I might be Alana or Heidi

 

petitelion: bc ur my mom, ur heidi

 

helplesslypure: cool cool

 

turtles: calm down jacksfilms jesus

 

turtles: anyways, I would probably be connor. bcus weed and suicide yo

 

labaguette: Is Jared an option? cus I feel like I am kin with jared

 

montihellno: you guys are insufferable

 

actualangel: I might be Cynthia???

 

montihellno: you too ang?

 

jMads: zoe

 

jMads: I feel like I know zoe's pain.

 

montihellno: jemmy

 

montihellno: why?

 

jMads: if you'd listen to the soundtrack like I asked Thomas, you would understand.

 

montihellno: but

 

montihellno: from what I read

 

montihellno: it's sad

 

petitelion: "because then I don have to look at it, and no one gets to look at it, no, no one can really see"

 

petitelion: why did that speak to me on so many spiritual levels?

 

petitelion: ben platt lend me your voice

 

petitelion: your pipes

 

petitelion: or at least stop stabbing my heart with your emotions.

 

turtles: if that ain't true

 

turtles: I can relate

 

petitelion: how can there be so much emotion in one word?

 

petitelion: "before I lead with the WORST of me"

 

petitelion: Ben

 

petitelion: who hurt you?

 

montihellno: i

 

montihellno: you know what, fuck it

 

montihellno: i'm curious

 

actualangel: rip Thomas jefferson

 

actualangel: jemmy, make sure he gets tissues

 

jMads: on it

 

helplesslypure: lol bye.


	3. sad boy meet equally sad people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John adds Jack into the squad chat because he thought he was pretty cool. Jack boasts to his squad about John and his squad and the boys (and Kath) are jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it just gets gayer from here

turtles: omg I just met a really awesome artsy person at the ice cream parlor

 

petitelion: I swear, his eyes lit up like the giant Christmas tree in radio city on thanksgiving

 

jMads: that's specific

 

petitelion: role with my simile here

 

petitelion: but seriously tho, he's pretty chill.

 

turtles: I added him on skype, can I add him guys? pleeeaaassseee

 

helplesslypure: I don't see why not. any objections?

 

labaguette: john is really excited and the kid was really enthusiastic. go for it.

 

turtles: YAY THNX MOM

 

**_turtles added SantaFEE to 'Revolutionary Squad.'_ **

 

turtles: everyone, this is Jack Kelly :) a fellow artist

 

SantaFEE: can you all like say your names so I can remember

 

petitelion: hi again, Jack, it's alex!

 

labaguette: i'm Lafayette! they/them please.

 

SantaFEE: genderfluid or non-binary?

 

labaguette: I like him!

 

labaguette: non-binary

 

SantaFEE: nice

 

helplesslypure: hi Jack! im Eliza she/her

 

actualangel: im angelica. nice to meet you jack. she/her as well.

 

jMads: i'm james, hi. they/them. non-binary

 

SantaFEE: nice to know

 

horsetailor: hey Jack, it's Hercules. y'know the big guy.

 

SantaFEE: interesting username. care to explain.

 

horsetailor: it was 2011. shut up.

 

horsetailor: i'd also like to know about your username

 

SantaFEE: inside joke with my boys and non-binary pals

 

petitelion: THERE'S MORE OF U?

 

SantaFEE: im one of a kind

 

SantaFEE: but

 

SantaFEE: yes there is more ofme

 

montihellno: but im curious about ur username

 

montihellno: im Thomas btw hi

 

SantaFEE: gather around children, and let Jack tell you the story of a dream he once had.

 

SantaFEE: that dream was to go to Santa Fe, Nexico, for I thought it was better than Manhattan.

 

SantaFEE: I told my brother (not actually my brother, we live in a lodging home) that he could come to Santa Fe with me, since he's got polio from the new York pollution.

 

SantaFEE: he was real excited.

 

SantaFEE: and apparently, every time I get teen angst, I sing this little tune

 

SantaFEE: it went something like this

 

**_SantaFEE sent a video_ **

 

SantaFEE: so it's not really pronounced like 'fee' it's just a drag on 'fe' but it could also double as 'fee' because dammit moving to Santa Fe is ridiculous and I barely make enough money as it is.

 

SantaFEE: so I decided to stay in Manhattan for my brothers (again, we are one big giant orphanage) and also because I have a crush on my current best friend but I don't want him to know but I also want to stay here and just look at him.

 

helplesslypure: that is the cutest story I ever heard

 

helplesslypure: also, you're voice is beautiful

 

turtles: alex literally cried for 10 minutes, wtf jack u sing amazing

 

SantaFEE: thnx

 

jMads: did you tell your friend you like him?

 

SantaFEE: I have the ego of a thousand suns but the confidence of nothing. iim terrified to tell him

 

horsetailor: ah the old pining.

 

SantaFEE: you guys dont understand. hes adorable.

 

SantaFEE: just the other night he told us to go to bed nicely by saying "guys, gals, and non-binary pals"

 

SantaFEE: like

 

SantaFEE: and hes so proper w his grammar like kill me

 

montihellno: but can we turn our attention to 'Santa Fe, nexico'

 

SantaFEE: that's another story for another time

 

SantaFEE: and by another time I mean never.

 

SantaFEE: I was quoting my friend, race

 

actualangel: you have a friend name race?

 

SantaFEE: it's his desired name. he actually has a real name but for the sake of double name confusion syndrome, we give each other nicknames.

 

petitelion: what's yours?

 

SantaFEE: Jack Kelly

 

turtles: original

 

SantaFEE: I know right

 

SantaFEE: im bragging to my friends about you and they don't like it

 

SantaFEE: 'Jackie why must you cheat on me' - Race

 

SantaFEE: 'I thought wes was brothers' - romeo

 

labaguette: they're just jealous that we're awesomely queer.

 

SantaFEE: I..... am going to send that to them

 

turtles: tag urself im awesomely queer

 

helplesslypure: i'm jackie

 

SantaFEE: no im Jackie

 

petitelion: im wes

 

petitelion: are you guys like hardcore New Yorkers

 

SantaFEE: born and raised

 

petitelion: nice

 

horsetailor: I am why must you cheat on me

 

horsetailor: why is that so funny to me

 

labaguette: he's laughing like a mad man fr im scared

 

SantaFEE: anything Race says is a meme

 

SantaFEE: even his skype name

 

turtles: WHATS HIS SKYPE?

 

SantaFEE: fancyclam

 

turtles: im guessing that's an even bigger story than 'nexico'

 

SantaFEE: oh no they go together.

 

horsetailor: I like your friends already.

 

SantaFEE: I like my friends too

 

helplesslypure: can I adopt you?

 

SantaFEE: I dont know can you?

 

SantaFEE: im really curious, can you adopt me? im sick of being an orphan

 

actualangel: im asking wash for adoption papers

 

SantaFEE: wash?

 

petitelion: Lafayette and i's foster dad

 

labaguette: he wants to understand children

 

SantaFEE: I can't even understand myself

 

jMads: preach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, the santa fe jack was singing was indeed Jeremy Jordan to those wondering, and it was the line "Santa Fe, my old friend, I can't spend my whole life dreaming, thought I know that's all I seem inclined to do"


	4. the combined squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SantaFEE: I'm shook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which both the newsies squad and the revolutionary squad meet

SantaFEE: probably should've warn you all

 

SantaFEE: I dnt sleep

 

petitelion: lol same

 

petitelion: sleep is 4 the weak

 

SantaFEE: and I should be sleeping because all the other boys are sleeping

 

SantaFEE: and i got school.

 

petitelion: you should 1v1 me in 8 ball pool

 

SantaFEE: k

 

 

_**SantaFEE sent a private message to agirl** _

SantaFEE: hey kath, ur prolly asleep but if u red this give me advice on how to ask some one out.

 

agirl: who are u wanting to ask out

 

SantaFEE: dave

 

agirl: I owe spot $5

 

SantaFEE: how dare you bet so cheeap on me

 

agirl: go to sleep

 

SantaFEE: but u didn't give me an answer

 

agirl: ill give you one at school. sleep now.

 

**_SantaFEE added actualangel, agirl, bifocals, DaveyJacobs, fancyclam, helplesslypure, horsetailor, jMads, labaguette, montihellno, petitelion, RomeNO, turtles, and watchmestand to a group chat._ **

 

**_SantaFEE named the chat 'extended squad.'_ **

 

SantaFEE: welcome

 

DaveyJacobs: Are these your new friends? The ones you told us about yesterday?

 

SantaFEE: yes sir.

 

DaveyJacobs: Oh, hello! I'm David, but for some reason these people call me Davey.

 

turtles: nice to meet you davey! im john.

 

DaveyJacobs: Do you have any pronouns? Anything you prefer?

 

turtles: he/him

 

DaveyJacobs: Good to know.

 

fancyclam: yo im race. he/him pls and thank u

 

petitelion: im alex. he/him

 

watchmestand: Hi! im crutchie :)

 

turtles: crutchie?

 

SantaFEE: remember how I told you I have a brother whos got polio?

 

SantaFEE: we call him Crutchie because hes paralyzed on his right leg.

 

helplesslypure: oh no, that's sad :(

 

watchmestand: yeah but I don't let it get to me.

 

petitelion: you're very positive im afraid to corrupt you

 

watchmestand: you wont corrupt me. I live with Jack and Race. theyre the worse

 

fancyclam: its true

 

helplesslypure: oh by the way im eliza she/her

 

watchmestand: hi eliza!

 

RomeNO: take out the n in my username and there you go

 

bifocals: they call me specs, they/them

 

horsetailor: bifocals? specs? would've guessed.

 

horsetailor: im Hercules. yes like the greek demi-god

 

labaguette: and im Lafayette, they/them pronouns please.

 

SantaFEE: is that all my newsies?

 

labaguette: newsies?

 

petitelion: the fuck is a newsie

 

agirl: it's what they call themselves in school.

 

agirl: we run the school newspaper.

 

agirl: they call me a girlsie

 

turtles: that is adorable.

 

agirl: hi I'm Katherine by the way. she/her

 

actualangel: yay another girl, finally. im angelica

 

jMads: im james but they call me jemmy. they/them

 

montihellno: and im thomas

 

DaveyJacobs: Is that all of us?

 

SantaFEE: yup.

 

SantaFEE: anyways, have fun.

 

DaveyJacobs: Where are you going?

 

SantaFEE: Katherine's.

 

DaveyJacobs: Doesn't her father hate your guts?

 

SantaFEE: and spit

 

turtles: haha what?

 

SantaFEE: it's a newsie thing.

 

DaveyJacobs: And it's a disgusting thing.

 

SantaFEE: you like it shut up

 

petitelion: kinky

 

turtles: calm down jared.

 

watchmestand: I thought his name was Alex.

 

SantaFEE: I'm shook


	5. the Jack Kelly support group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> race and laf make a Jack Kelly support group with eliza and Katherine because jack is flaming bisexual

fancyclam: Romeo is currently trying to flirt with this one girl

fancyclam: one girl is not having it

fancyclam: shes also done with Romeo's shit

fancyclam: "me thinks the lady whats to get with a real man" -romeo

fancyclam: "you thinks wrong romeo" - girl

fancyclam: "how'd she know my name?" -romeo

petitelion: me

turtles: if that ain't alex

petitelion: hey

turtles: didn't you just say me?

petitelion: its a meme

SantaFEE: why are you guys texting during class?

fancyclam: why are YOU texting during class?

SantaFEE: I've got drama. medda loves me

fancyclam: drama with whom'st've

SantaFEE: stop that

SantaFEE: and drama with dave and kath

RomeNO: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°  )

SantaFEE: stop

labaguette: do y'all do singing

turtles: y'all

turtles: laf ur french

labaguette: no im american

horsetailor: bb... ur french

labaguette: shhhh

SantaFEE: your French?

labaguette: answer the question

SantaFEE: okay yes yes we do sing. don't bite me

labaguette: is that a kink you have?

SantaFEE: maybvlifnediwgbhl

turtles: rip jack

petitelion: lol what happened

agirl: Davey dragged Jack back to the blackbox

petitelion: kinky

agirl: lmao yeah.

fancyclam: someone dm me now

labaguette: k

 

_**fancyclam and labaguette** _

fancyclam: I dont know if jack explained this to you but he has an insane crush on davey

labaguette: lol yeah, he told us when he explained his username

fancyclam: okay so he obviously needs serious help asking Davey out

labaguette: question

labaguette: does Davey like him back

fancyclam: head over heels for jack

fancyclam: in fact I have a video of them singing What You Own from Rent

labaguette: send it pls

**_fancyclam sent a video._ **

labaguette: okay jack sent me a video of him singing his little santa fe tune

labaguette: and I thought his voice was fire

labaguette: but Davey

labaguette: hooboy can that boy riff

fancyclam: right?

fancyclam: jack loves that about dave

fancyclam: I dont blame him

labaguette: I want to send that video to the gc

fancyclam: can we also make a support group for jack and exclude Davey?

fancyclam: just a few of us tho. I dont want to overwhelm jack

labaguette: im taking that 'also' as a yes

labaguette: who should be in the chat

fancyclam: me and you obviously, jack of course, kath, and eliza?

labaguette: I am ready 

 

_**labaguette sent a video to 'expanded squad.'** _

RomeNO: I remember that!

bifocals: every time I hear Davey sing I think of him as an angel

petitelion: I REFUSE TO BLEIVE THAT DAVEY CANDSING LIKE A GOD

turtles: this is everything

petitelion: DAVEY WHO ISD U MURDER TO GSIN PIPES

fancyclam: lol spot's title prolly

RomeNO: screenshotted and sent to spot

fancyclam: u just wanna witness my death dont u

RomeNO: ye

helplesslypure: wow, that was absolutely beautiful

helplesslypure: I cant believe Davey invented singing

watchmestand: ^

horsetailor: ^^^^^

actualangel: preach

DaveyJacobs: Race!

fancyclam: it wasn't me! Lafayette sent it

DaveyJacobs: You sent it to them.

fancyclam: ....

fancyclam: true

fancyclam: but in my defense, everyone should hear you

SantaFEE: we need to do that song again but better

petitelion: I T CANG ET BETTTER>?

SantaFEE: dave has no limits

agirl: medda wants to see it

jMads: tbh you both sound wonderful together

montihellno: agreed

DaveyJacobs: You really think so?

SantaFEE: pfft, no. dave is the only one that sounds amazing. I sound like trash ahaha lmao

 

_**labaguette added fancyclam, helplesslypure, and agirl to a group chat.** _

_**labaguette named the chat 'Jack Kelly support group.'** _

fancyclam: listen well. jack is pining HARD for Davey and we need to get him to man up and ask him out

agirl: someone had to say it.

agirl: dont we need jack in the group?

labaguette: oops

fancyclam: I got this

_**fancyclam added SantaFEE to the chat.** _

fancyclam: jack

SantaFEE: absolutely not

helplesslypure: but jack, you really need to confess your feelings :(

SantaFEE: absolutely 100% no.

SantaFEE: dave is so proper and im so not

agirl: but Davey likes you as well. I see him always looking at you

SantaFEE: that's because I make a fool of myself all the time

fancyclam: okay but get this

fancyclam: he looks at you with like #hearteyes at lunch

fancyclam: like every day

labaguette: mon ami, the worst that could happen is that Davey says no.

labaguette: and by what we've read, its safe to say that he really does like you back

helplesslypure: I think you should go for it Jack

SantaFEE: you all suck.

fancyclam: does that mean youll do it

SantaFEE: let me go at my own pace

fancyclam: he wont do it

agirl: race

agirl: actually u have a point.

SantaFEE: hey im gonna do it!

SantaFEE: I just need to time it right.

SantaFEE: that way if he rejects me I can play it off like a joke.

SantaFEE: and no one's feelings get hurt

fancyclam: jack, Davey is way too smart for that.

SantaFEE: a guy can dream race, god!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Search up 'Ben Fankhauser and Corey Cott sing "What You Own" from RENT.' that's the video I'm talking about.


End file.
